ToyFarce News: Santa Promises Entire Marvel Legends Eternals Wave to Substitute Unreasonable/Impossible requests!

With Christmas just days away, Santa Claus has reassured collectors that while he may not be able to fulfill every expensive or impossible toy request this year, no one will be left completely empty-handed. According to an official statement from the North Pole, any collector asking for a sold-out exclusive, crowdfunded item, or aftermarket-priced figure will now receive an entire wave of Marvel Legends Eternals figure as a replacement or bonus gift. ToyFarce investigated...

"We understand some requests are... ambitious" Santa explained while reviewing a list that included HasLabs, convention exclusives, and figures that sold out in under thirty seconds. "But Christmas is about giving, and frankly, we have a lot of Eternals figures to give."

Santa confirmed the decision was made after elves conducted a full inventory of the toy supply chain and discovered that Marvel Legends Eternals figures were "still widely available, regardless of location, season, or clearance cycle". The figures were reportedly found in abundance across big box stores, online retailers, and several places Santa does not remember delivering to.

"This is not a punishment" Santa clarified. "It's a solution".

According to the elves, the Eternals figures have proven extremely useful during the holiday season, serving as sleigh ballast, emergency stocking stuffers, and morale tests for adult collectors. "If someone can accept an Eternals figure with grace, they're probably doing okay mentally" said an elf, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of being reassigned to peg-warming duty.

Collectors who asked Santa for rare imports or highly marked-up exclusives have already started reporting mixed results. Some claim they received a Marvel Legends Eternals wave, accompanied by a note reading "It was either this or nothing". When asked how long the program will last, Santa sighed before answering: "Until they're gone" he said, before quietly adding "So... a while..."

At press time, several collectors were reportedly rewriting their Christmas lists to include items that are "reasonable, in stock, and emotionally safe" while others admitted they were afraid to ask for anything at all, worried that doing so might somehow result in a wave of Marvel Legends Eternals figures anyway.

More news at 11:00... "Oh, so THAT's why they're called the Eternals... lol"
*ToyFarce News is parody news for laughs and not meant to be taken seriously!