ToyFarce News: Collector Celebrates May The 4th The Traditional Way: Complaining About Star Wars!

On this sacred day known as Star Wars Day, fans around the world gather to celebrate the galaxy far, far away. For local collector Mark, however, the tradition looks a little different: "I love Star Wars" he confirmed, moments before listing everything he currently hates about it. ToyFarce investigated...

Mark began his May the 4th celebrations bright and early by complaining about the latest Hasbro livestream, an event he described as "a complete waste of time": "They didn't announce anything I wanted!" he said, shaking his head. "Where is my definitive TVC version of that one background character from that one split second scene? Instead, we get repaints and pipeline reveals. Classic."

Not one to let disappointment rest, Mark quickly moved on to the latest reveals from Hot Toys, carefully examining high-resolution images of figures he has no intention of buying: "These look amazing" he admitted. "The Artisan Edition of that Qui Gon Jinn figure? The Concept Art Anakin Skywalker? Way too amazing. Why are they so expensive? Who is this even for? Not me. I mean, I'll still keep looking at them, but that's not the point."

Between complaints, Mark took a short break to scroll through news about upcoming Star Wars projects, including the upcoming new movies (The Mandalorian and Grogu, Starfighter) and several Disney+ shows (Maul, Shadow Lord): "Yeah, I don't know about this" he said, having read only the headline. "It just doesn't feel like Star Wars anymore. Also, they haven't even shown enough yet. But from what I've seen, which is basically nothing, I'm already concerned."

Despite his grievances, Mark insisted that May the 4th remains his favorite day of the year: "It's just nice to celebrate something you love" he explained, opening a forum thread titled 'Star Wars Is Dead Again (2026 Edition)'.

At press time, Mark was seen placing a preorder for a new version of Darth Vader, before immediately complaining that it should have come with more accessories.

More news at 11:00... Nobody hates Star Wars more than Star Wars Fans. May the Fourth be with you!
*ToyFarce News is parody news for laughs and not meant to be taken seriously!