ToyFarce News: Collector Begins Digging Through Basement After Hearing Skeleton Warriors Are Coming Back

"I know they're in there somewhere..." A collector who recently learned that Four Horsemen Studios is bringing back the classic Skeleton Warriors toy line, as part of their Infinite Legions series, has immediately begun searching his parent's basement for the original figures he purchased back in 1994. ToyFarce investigated...

"I know I still have them..." said the collector confidently, before opening a box that had apparently not been touched since the first Playstation came out. "They're definitely in here somewhere. I am certain of that! I remember putting them in a box..."

After several hours of searching, the collector has reportedly uncovered three boxes of Christmas decorations, an old VCR, 47 McDonald's Happy Meal toys, a broken action figure he had completely forgotten about, and a box labeled "DO NOT THROW AWAY". The Skeleton Warriors from Playmates from 1994, however, remain nowhere to be found.

"It's very important that I find them before the new ones come out, so that I can post pictures of them and show that I was a fan before everyone else." he explained. "A lot of collectors will pretend that they always knew about the line, but I actually had them, and I remember vividly really enjoying playing with Aruco...Arachno... the one that has 6 arms!"

The collector has now expanded the search to his parent's attic and is reportedly asked his parents whether they remember where they put his toys 32 years ago. "I'm just trying to see which originals I still have before the new ones arrive..." he explained, while surrounded by approximately six tons of childhood possessions. The mother, who regularly donates old boxes to the local thrift store, has remained suspiciously quiet during the entire search...



The first wave of Infinite Legions Skeleton Warriors from the Four Horsemen Studios is available for pre-order at our sponsor BigBadToyStore.

More news at 11:00... assuming he doesn't uncover his original Skeleton Warriors first.
*ToyFarce News is parody news for laughs and not meant to be taken seriously!