ToyFarce News: Haslab HISS Tank - More Tiers Revealed?!

by ToyFarce
July 04, 2022
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Last week, the next G.I.Joe Haslab project, the G.I.Joe Classified Series HISS Tank, was revealed, went live... and was fully backed in a matter of hours! Since then, the first 3 unlockable tiers have been revealed, and the Hasbro G.I.Joe team nearly doesn't have enough time to reveal the next ones as the number of backers needed for them keep getting reached before they can announce them... Here are the ones revealed so far:

Unlock1Unlock2Unlock3

In order to help the toy community, ToyFarce used some undercover connections in order to let you know about the next few unlockable tiers! We will let Hasbro reveal the next few tiers themselves (you guys are gonna LOVE the 4th one!), so we went further ahead:


CLASSIFIED UNLOCK #6

Unlock4

Everyone knows that staying hydrated is important (and knowing is indeed half the battle), especially on those long trips inside the HISS Tank, so Hasbro added a cup holder that can be added on the dashboard of the HISS Tank, so that our Cobra HISS drivers always have a nice cold beverage while on a mission! How thoughtful!

Unlock5


CLASSIFIED UNLOCK #7

Unlock6

What would be a Cobra agent without his trusty trumpet? Hasbro knows how important it is to have some brass instruments with their products, and decided to go even further by adding a set of brass horns to the HISS Tank! If there are enough backers, the set will also include a sound effect that plays 'La Cucaracha' with the HISS Tank horns!

Unlock7


CLASSIFIED UNLOCK #8

Unlock8

Functionality meets style with that next unlockable tier, as you can add a chassis mounted spoiler on your HISS Tank, to be sure to have all eyes on you during your operations! The spoiler will increase the HISS Tank's braking stability, even at higher speeds! Go, Cobra, Go!

Unlock9


CLASSIFIED UNLOCK #9

Unlock10

This tier has been specifically asked by Profit Director Destro who wanted to add a Cobra-approved pole dancing bar in the back of the HISS Tank, for... personal use!

Unlock11


But wait... there is more!

CLASSIFIED UNLOCK #20

Not to go completely infomercial on you, but if you back the HISS Tank enough so that it reaches the unlock #20, you will not be getting one, but TWO HISS Tanks, for the same price! Call the number on your screen right now!

Unlock12

What unlockable tiers would YOU like to see with the Haslab G.I.Joe Classified Series HISS Tank? Let us know in the comments!
Want to back the Haslab G.I.Joe Classified Series HISS Tanks? Get yours here!
More news at 11:00... Do you have what it takes? Enlist with Cobra!
*ToyFarce News is parody news for laughs and not meant to be taken seriously!



Comments...

Last 10 comments - ( Read All Posts )
interoceptive - 2022-07-05 @ 2:05 am

Ha! I hope they're reading this, I'd love that cup holder. I would love a second HISS even more.

WebbedSpider - 2022-07-04 @ 2:40 pm

Lol! Love it.

If tier 4 doesn't include hydraulics, a subwoofer and racing stripes, I'm gonna go ballistic.

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