ToyFarce News: "My Action Figures ALWAYS Break Right Out of the Packaging" says Collector with Boxing Gloves for Hands

"It's just one of those days..." says Fred, a toy collector for Jacksonville, Florida, after inevitably breaking another figure right out of the packaging. In the last few weeks, a few brand have acknowledged that their figures might have breakage issues, and told toy collectors different ways that it can be avoided... ToyFarce investigated.

"First of all, I don't cut any of the plastic ties in the packaging. I don't have time for that. I just yank the figure out of it as hard as I can, and 9 times out of 10, the figure loses an arm or a leg and is instantly broken" said Fred (we're off to a good start!). "When I try to move an articulation, and it's stuck, I just try harder until it moves. Most of the times, it breaks." It also doesn't help that he is wearing boxing gloves while opening his figures. "It's my gimmick, I always wear boxing gloves when I review my figures! I just wish companies would make an effort to make the action figures a bit sturdier so that it doesn't break right out of the packaging... or at least give instructions or something..."

In some cases, the instructions are actually on the tiny piece of paper that is present in the packaging (you know, the one that immediately goes to trash with the rest of the packaging). In it, the companies explain that some joints might be stiff and that heat can help make your figure move better. "Well, I do not have a hair dryer (I'm bald), and I suck at cooking so I do not know how to boil water. What should I do then? Not buy any toys?"



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*ToyFarce News is parody news for laughs and not meant to be taken seriously!