ToyFarce News: How To Make Toy-Related New Year's Resolution That You'll Want To Keep (But Probably Won't...)

It's the end of the year, and it's time to look back on all your toy collecting successes (and mishaps...) while setting realistic goals for next year. Here's a (not really) foolproof ToyFarce guide to creating resolutions you'll definitely stick to! Well, sort of... It's the thought that counts, really!

Resolution: "I will buy fewer toys this year."
Translation: "I will buy fewer toys per month... maybe."
ToyFarce Tip: Always say it with confidence and ignore the stack of preorders waiting to ship!

Resolution: "I'll only collect [insert favorite line or franchise here]."
Translation: "...until the next big reveal from another line I definitely don't collect... yet."
ToyFarce Tip: Claim it's for the sake of "streamlining" your collection. This works until a new toy comes with too many accessories to resist.

Resolution: "I will finally re-organize my collection this year."
Translation: "I'll move figures around for two hours, lose three accessories, and call it progress."
ToyFarce Tip: Take a "before" picture to post as motivation... then immediately get distracted by your latest unboxing.

Resolution: "I'll stick to my toy budget this year!"
Translation: "Budgets are more like suggestions, right?"
ToyFarce Tip: Set a completely arbitrary budget and then convince yourself that technically, shipping doesn't count (it doesn't!).

Resolution: "I won't stress about delays. The toys will get here when they get here."
Translation: "I'll still check my tracking number daily and rage when it's stuck in customs."
ToyFarce Tip: Practice meditation and zen breathing exercises... while refreshing your tracking page.

Resolution: "I'll join a collector's group for advice and camaraderie!"
Translation: "I'll join a group to justify buying even more figures."
ToyFarce Tip: Blame peer pressure. "I wasn't going to buy that figure, but everyone in the group got it. It's practically a community event!"

Resolution: "If I keep my resolutions, I’ll treat myself to a grail figure at the end of the year!"
Translation: "I’ll get the grail figure in February and *promise* to do better next year."
ToyFarce Tip: Treat yourself early and often. You earned it... for trying!

Making toy-related resolutions is easy. Keeping them? That's another story. But hey, collecting is about the joy of the hobby, not the rules you set for yourself. Remember: the only resolution that truly matters is "Have fun!" (and maybe find more shelf space).

More news at 11:00... Here’s to another year of toy collecting chaos! Happy New Year from ToyFarce!
*ToyFarce News is parody news for laughs and not meant to be taken seriously!