A long time ago, in a Target far, far away... This week marks the fifth anniversary of the
Haulathon,
NECA and
Target’s yearly event where exclusive collectible figures are made available through a series of
increasingly frustrating and mysterious drops. To celebrate this milestone,
ToyFarce is proud to present the next installment in the beloved saga:
Haulathon V: The Scalpers Strike Back.
After the success of the previous chapters (
Episode 1: The Phantom Listing,
Episode 2: Attack of the Bots,
Episode 3: Revenge of the Cart and
Episode 4: A New Nope), here is the thrilling fifth chapter, where our dedicated collectors armed with patience, several gallons of gasoline, fast Wi-Fi, and unrealistic optimism face their most dangerous foes yet!
This year’s
Haulathon promises "
more figures, more drops, and more chaos than ever before" and so far, it has delivered! Just not in the way collectors hoped: "
I went to several Targets and found nothing. 30 min later, a collector from my area posted that he found all the event's drops in one of the Target I just visited, and cleaned the shelves. Classic Haulathon experience!" said one collector while sobbing into their
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles blanket.
To commemorate the fifth anniversary,
Target and
NECA even unveiled two unforgettable Haulathon features: "
The Target Employee Who Has No Idea What You’re Talking About (w/ scanning gun and shrugging action)" and "
The Customer Service Chatbot (includes 3 preloaded phrases and zero helpfulness!)".
Collectors are already lining up for their chance to not get what they want! "
I love the tradition of disappointment" said another fan. "
It brings us together. Like Comic-Con, but if everyone left empty-handed." So buckle up, collectors!
Haulathon V is here, and with a little luck, you too can score today a figure from a drop from 3 weeks from now! You can also get those items online,
pre-sold out!
And remember:
May the force be with your browser... and your expectations remain low!
*ToyFarce News is parody news for laughs and not meant to be taken seriously!
ucsf -
2025-04-12 @ 8:27 am
You got me withEpisode 4: A New Nope! Oh boy, one of your best articles period. Did you know that if we look at the word haulathon and change a few letters, we get the phrase "next time"? it's amazing, how our perception evolves!
If Target wouldnt put the stuff out weeks in advance they would actually have the stock during Haulathon when collectors are expecting the stuff to be available It was dumb luck that the one I happened to go to last weekend had the stuff out- and the drive aisle display was already running low on stock at the time. I am happy I got the Shredder because that was really the only thing I was interested in picking up, but I doubt if I were to go back and check, there would be much of the other stuff left.
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