ToyFarce News: Back to School - Kids Upset That Collector Parents Will Keep Going on Toy Hunts Without Them?!

As children across the country reluctantly return to school, a new and unexpected crisis has emerged in the homes of toy collectors: kids are outraged at the idea that their parents will continue their weekday toy hunts without them. ToyFarce investigated...

"I've been there all summer" said 8-year old Ethan, son of a Marvel Legends and G.I.Joe collecor. "We went to every Target, Walmart, GameStop, and even that scary flea market together. Now I'm supposed to sit in a classroom learning multiplication while Dad finds the new wave of Marvel Legends figures before me? That's just not fair!"

Reports indicate that many young toy collector offspring have been strategically dragging their feet in the mornings, asking for "one last quick Target run" on the way to school, and even attempting to fake fevers in hopes of tagging along. Some have taken more desperate measures, like asking parents to live-stream the toy aisles in real time.

"It's cruel, honestly" said 10-year old Mia, who proudly helped her mom and dad track down the elusive NECA exclusives last month. "Now they're going to get all the store restocks while I'm stuck learning about photosynthesis. I should be there. I'm their good luck charm!"

Meanwhile, parents are expressing absolutely no guilt whatsoever: "Look, they had the whole summer" said James, a collector-parent, adjusting his cart to hide a newly found Transformers figure. "September is my time. Besides, toy hunting is easier when I'm not being asked if we can stop for ice cream every five minutes...".

Toy stores nationwide are reportedly bracing for a noticeable uptick in weekday morning traffic, with employees warned to expect "an influx of adults wearing big smiles and moving very fast toward the toy section".

Educators, on the other hand, are already seeing the effects. "A lot of kids are distracted" said fourth-grade teacher Mrs. Parker. "I caught one trying to refresh the Target app on his smartphone during math class. He said he was checking stock for his dad".

Experts predict the annual "Back to School Toy Hunt FOMO" will subside by October, when parents realize they've blown through their toy budgets right before the holiday pre-orders.

More news at 11:00... "Please! Just one last quick toy run... for old time's sake!"
*ToyFarce News is parody news for laughs and not meant to be taken seriously!