A Christmas Scalper! This year, a well known scalper was visited by three spirits of Christmas and realized that maybe, scalping is not a very christmassy thing to do. He then decided to lower his prices by 5 WHOLE DOLLARS! ToyFarce investigated.
"It was a very frightening night!" recalls the scalper. "First, the ghost of an old partner of mine visited me. He used to go on toy hunts with me, to grab all the stocks of all the most coveted figures and exclusives, so that we could sell them at toy shows and conventions for twice, sometimes three times the price. He told me I would be visited by 3 ghosts later on... I assumed it was just my imagination, or a piece of undigested leftover Taco Bell I had eaten earlier."
"The first spirit was from the past. It showed me how I used to steal my friends' toys, and then try to sell them back to them for double the amount. Ah, the youth! I was really a trouble maker..." he said, fondly. "Then, the second spirit was from the present, and showed me my current inventory. Boy, do I have a lot of things to sell! Those recent sales from Ross and Ollies have really killed my momentum. I was selling figures a lot faster a few months ago!"
"The last one was from the future, and he showed me my storage space, which was still full of toys, some from the future, which is actually nice since I already know what to look for when they come out! But he also showed me my tombstone, which means that I had a lot of stocks left before I passed away. They would probably empty my storage and give away all the toys for free to some charity! You hear that? For FREE!"
"The morale of the story is that, in order to sell all my inventory, I probably need to lower my prices a little, to be nice. I will now start a sale, with $5 off all my items!"
More news at 11:00... I don't think that was the message... Bah, humbug! Happy holidays to all! *ToyFarce News is parody news for laughs and not meant to be taken seriously!
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