ToyFarce News: Lex Luthor Denies Involvement in Supergirl Action Figure Heist?!

Following the mysterious theft of an entire tractor-trailer filled with DC Direct Page Punchers Supergirl (Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow) action figures from McFarlane Toys, authorities have turned their attention to the usual suspects... and one bald billionaire is not having it... ToyFarce investigated.

Lex Luthor, the CEO of LexCorp and long-time Superman antagonist, was quick to release a statement vehemently denying any involvement in the audacious heist: "I have no interest in plastic Kryptonians!" said Luthor from his private jet. "I have higher standards! You think I’d stoop to stealing Supergirl action figures? I’m busy running a global empire. Do I look like I have time for toys?”

This statement came shortly after rumors began circulating that Luthor’s henchmen had been spotted near a McFarlane Toys distribution warehouse. However, Luthor insists that these reports are "unfounded" and "part of a baseless smear campaign".


The infamous email everybody received...

Despite Luthor's firm denial, the authorities aren’t fully convinced. "We have to look at all possibilities" said an anonymous source within the Metropolis Police Department. "It’s not every day a shipment of Supergirl figures gets stolen. And who else has the resources, the motive, and, frankly, the obsession with Kryptonian-related memorabilia? We’re keeping all options on the table."

Luthor’s name has been linked to the heist largely due to his ongoing rivalry with Superman and his cousin. In a final twist, Luthor is now offering a significant reward for the return of the stolen figures – but not for the reason one might expect: "If anyone knows where they are, I’ll take them off your hands" Luthor said. "Not because I’m a fan of Supergirl, but because I want to dismantle them personally. Plastic figures don’t stand a chance against my superior intellect!"

As the investigation continues, one thing is clear: while Lex Luthor may not be behind the theft, the world of action figure heists just got a whole lot more interesting!

More news at 11:00... "I was busy plotting against Superman anyway!"
*ToyFarce News is parody news for laughs and not meant to be taken seriously!