ToyFarce Exclusive: How to Host Your Own "Hasbro Breakfast" at Home (and Regret It Immediately!)

San Diego Comic-Con is here, and that means... Hasbro Breakfast time! Yesterday, Hasbro held their annual Hasbro Brand Preview Breakfast, an event reserved for the press where the Hasbro teams can mingle with the breakfast crowd and showcase upcoming products. But what if you're not a member of the press or didn't get invited to the magical land of free donuts and unreleased action figures? Fear not, dear collector! ToyFarce has you covered! Here's how YOU can host your very own Hasbro Breakfast at home!

Step 1: Set the Scene
Every great Hasbro Breakfast starts with two essential tables: one for the food, and one for the figures. Grab your finest folding tables and separate them by at least 2 feet to simulate that prestigious press event layout. One table should feature your latest unopened plastic treasures, along with some loose figures for your guests to play with. The other? A chaotic spread of sandwishes, store-brand donuts, coffee, juices, and most importantly, fruits that no one will touch (just like the real thing!).




Step 2: Invite Random Strangers
Hasbro's event is usually for press only, but your version? Open it up to anyone. Neighbors, delivery drivers, weird guys from Facebook Marketplace... the more hands, the better! Ideally, at least one person should cough directly onto your loose figures while holding a jelly-filled donut. You see, authenticity matters!




Step 3: Curate Your Lineup
Arrange your figures like they're about to be revealed to the world for the first time. Put some in front of a printed-out logo of your favorite brand. Leave some loose ones for your guest to pick up and for photography, meaning that you'll need to emotionally prepare for someone picking up your grail figure with powdered donut-covered fingers!




Step 4: Take Photos Like You're at the Real Thing
Get up close and personal with those figures. Blurry photos with bad lighting? Perfect. A gigantic window with full daylight BEHIND your guests will always do the trick. Bonus points for leaving half a croissant in the shot for scale!


Brilliant photo by Toyshiz


Step 5: Say Things Like "We'll Have More to Share at Pulse Con"
Practice your PR lingo. Say things like: "This is just a sneak peek!", "Wait until you see wave 2!" or "We're really excited about the new articulation scheme." Then, pretend not to hear any follow-up questions and move on to another guest mid-sentence!




Step 6: Regret Everything Immediately
Within 15 minutes, you'll start questioning your life choices. Someone will have used your MOC collection as a coaster. Your carpet will never recover from the orange juice spill. A 5-year-old (how did he get in?) will have posed some of your figures in Fortnite dances. Your loose figures are now sticky and will never be the same. But hey, now you know what it's like!




Bonus Tip: Make a lanyard for Yourself That Says "Collector Press"
Because if you're going to do it, you might as well go full delusion!

So while you might not be at San Diego Comic-Con this year, you can recreate the magic at home! Just don't say we didn't warn you...

More news at 11:00... Happy Hasbro Breakfasting!
*ToyFarce News is parody news for laughs and not meant to be taken seriously!