ToyFarce News: Cobra Commander Admits "Once a Man" Immediate Sellout Was His Diabolical Plan All Along to Frustrate G.I. Joe Collectors!

"Fooools! Did you really think it was an accident?" Cobra Commander sneered in a surprise broadcast on Cobra's own YouTube channel. Earlier this week, Hasbro put all their SDCC Exclusive items online, so that collectors who didn't attend the event could have a chance to get their hands on them. However, it was what is usually referred to as 'a bloodbath'. The G.I.Joe Classified Series Cobra Commander "Once a Man" set appeared to have sold out in seconds, and many collectors were left with the item in their shopping cart, but not being able to buy it. It has now been revealed that Cobra Command was behind it all along. ToyFarce investigated...

The highly anticipated G.I.Joe Classified Series Cobra Commander "Once a Man" action figure set, which depicts Cobra Commander in his pre-serpent state, was expected to be the crown jewel of many collections. Instead, it turned into a nightmare for collectors worldwide when it sold out within seconds of going live. As frustrated fans took to social media to express their outrage, Cobra Commander was watching it all unfold with a sinister grin from the shadows.

In a shocking revelation that has left the G.I. Joe collecting community reeling, Cobra Commander himself has claimed full responsibility for the "Once a Man" figure's immediate sellout, stating it was all part of his latest sinister scheme to spread chaos, not just on the battlefield, but in the toy aisles as well. "It was I, Cobra Commander, who orchestrated the entire sellout! I flooded the market with bots, outsmarted your human reflexes, and left your pathetic credit cards crying in vain! Now, instead of displaying my glory on your shelves, you are left empty-handed, driven mad by your own desires!"

Sources close to Cobra (who insisted on anonymity due to fear of reprisal) confirmed that Cobra Commander personally oversaw the deployment of thousands of automated bots, programmed to snap up every "Once a Man" figure the moment it became available. Reports suggest he even coordinated with third-party scalpers to ensure that any leftover figures were hoarded and listed online at astronomically high prices, knowing full well that desperate collectors would pay anything to fill the void in their hearts—and their displays.

"This is the pinnacle of evil genius!" Cobra Commander boasted. "Collectors will be driven to the brink of insanity, scouring eBay and Facebook Marketplace for a chance at glory, all while I sit back and revel in their misery!"

More news at 11:00... "That's what you get for calling me 'Coco' all these years!"
*ToyFarce News is parody news for laughs and not meant to be taken seriously!